Tag: Children

In the moment

Posted on by Fireproof

Life has been crazy.  That may be an understatement.  Life has been absolutely chaotic.  For the last month or so it seems that we have been on the run.  Starting at the end of July we had a mission team in town with 85 middle school kids setting up worksites for them, 12 in total around the area.  Imagine with me trying to lead and setup that many worksites where you are trying to teach 12-14 year olds how to use a screw gun, read a tape measure, paint, stain, cut, use a weedwacker and so forth.  Let’s just say there is still cleanup going on from kids not knowing you don’t walk across the floor when you have paint on your shoes.  Oh the joys of leading kids.  Isn’t that part of teaching the next generation though.  Yes some of these projects adults with skill could have done in an hour or so, but are we teaching the young anything if we do it all ourselves?  Projects in our home are the same way as our 4 year old twins want to help me work on the shed.  Silas, I am proud to say actually has gotten the hang of reading a tape measure, cutting with a chop saw and using a trim nailer.  (With supervision of course.)  How many adults can say they’ve never done that before.  

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Anyway, back to the thought of life being chaotic.  After mission team we had our annual camping trip to Cowan’s Gap.  All 6 of us packed into our trailer, my in-laws and my parents all camped beside each other enjoying God’s creation.  Man talk about a week.  A day at Hershey Park, biking the battlefields at Gettysburg, fishing every chance we got.  A moment that i will never forget included Eli catching a maybe 3 inch fish and singing “I am the champion,” until he realized how small it truly was.  At that moment we all just stood on the deck cracking up as we made him take a picture with his “prized catch.

Then last weekend my dad and I got to take the boys to the NASCAR race.  It has become our yearly tradition to finish off the summer by taking the boys to the race.  A final weekend spent with just them.  The truth is the race is just he excuse to have that time with them.  To hear about the things they are learning, the memories from the summer, and also picking on them asking what girls they have been kissing lately.  Moments.  Memories.  Times to be cherished while they are still at the age they want to hang out with their dad.  Maybe this is exactly what Jesus was talking about when he speaks of life abundantly, living life to the full.  Being in the moment?

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  John 10:10 NIV

Does it mean a lot more hours at work, and late nights after getting back to everyday life?  Absolutely.  Did I at times during those trips catch myself about everything else i needed to do when getting back.  Yes, it happened at times.  I am still human and my mind wanders, but God has been working on my heart this summer on not taking things to seriously and learning to truly be engulfed in each moment.  Embracing the times and the little snippets I might have to share with my kids the “Father’s Love.” 

This past weekend I caught myself in one of those hours of just being present.  After a long day at work I got to take the kids to a block party our at Salix Bethel Church.  They had a bubble machine setup on one end of the property and inflatable water slides on the other.  For the kids that meant cover your body in bubbles and then run back to the slides using the bubbles to fly down at full speed.  (Take a moment now to remember the joy of being a kid when nothing else mattered).  Eli during that time made it his goal to give me a big bear hug every time he ran by thinking it hilarious to see how wet he could get me.  You know what happened during that hour.  I laughed, I smiled, and I just took it all in.  I forgot about everything else.  Life to the full.

I say that to you today in hope that maybe just for a moment you would take a moment with your kids or grandkids to just be present.  Put your phone down, turn off the tv, and just laugh.  Maybe you don’t have kids in your life anymore, think back to when you were a kid ripping around on your bike, or flying down a slip and slide.  All of us need moments of joy, memories.  What if today you went outside and caught yourself letting your guard down, forgetting about all your stress for a moment.  One of my greatest memories happened when I was about 10 years old.  It was over 90 degrees out and my dad’s a/c in his car went out.  That day he was driving home from Wheeling West Virginia for work and dripping in sweat.  I will never forget him pulling in the drive, climbing out in his suit and tie and just jumping in our small inflatable pool with us and just laughing away.  Is that what you need to do today?  

Just to give you a thought in closing can you imagine Jesus doing that kind of thing when he talks about let the children come to me.  He needed a break from all the noise and chaos?  A moment to just laugh.  Maybe that is even what He did when he went to the mountain by himself to pray, just embraced being in the presence of the father,  telling Dad jokes.  Sometimes we need to loosen up.  Can you imagine God one day looking at you and going, “Why so serious?”  

Matthew 19: 14Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

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“I FORGOT”

Posted on by Fireproof

“Back up,” I say once again starting to raise my voice.  Honestly, next to I love you, those 2 words have to be the most quoted words in our home.  Our kids as soon as they turn the tv on are glued right up to it.  It is like a competition of who can be closest.  Followed by Lindsey going, “Eli, what am I about to say?”  With a shrug of the shoulders and the slow backwards walk he remarks, “I Forgot.”  No kidding this has to happen around 10 times a day with all 4 of our kids.  I can’t just pick on one of them for this story.  It is now at the point that we have downloaded an app onto our phones to act as a remote.  Without even saying a word after the third time telling them we just turn it off and take television away for a half hour.  Every so often we will get some  kickback which then turns into, “what are we going to have to do to make you remember” or “How many times must I tell you?”   To give you a glimpse into SIlas personality usually within 5 minutes will come over showing some remorse, looking up at me, saying, “I don’t know why, I just can’t remember Dad, I just forget.”  Maybe it isn’t TV that is an issue in your home, but how about brushing their teeth or feeding the pets. To all parents out there, you are not alone in having forgetful kids. The truth is even as adults we forget things way more than we’d like to admit.  

In writing this I have been completely convicted.  It is almost as if as I was writing God was showing me in real time how much I forget.  Linds gave me a list of 3 things to pick up at Walmart, even asking if I needed her to write it down.  Nope I think I got it babe, only 3 things.  Milk, Turkey Breast, toothpaste.  So here I am, start talking to someone of course, and totally forget the toothpaste.   After about 20 minutes of wandering and trying to remember I break down and call her, “Honey, what was it again?”  Then later that week we are at church listening to the announcements, thinking about certain things we should join in.  You think by the end of service I had any memory left of what it was, not a chance.  (Now get off my case, you know we all forget announcements at church).  See what I am saying though, we are all forgetful people.  

I bring all that up because I used to look at the story of the Israelites when God gave them the 10 commandments and wonder how they could be so dumb.  Literally these are the people who witnessed God part the Red Sea, send the plagues, provide quail and manna daily, lead them by a pillar of fire, and the list goes on.  Of all people you would think they would be grounded in their faith.  Now Moses comes off the mountain, declares the commandments, and they reply, “Whatever you say Lord we will do.”  Seems pretty straightforward until Moses goes back up the mountain.  How quickly the people forget, they couldn’t even remember command 1, “No other Gods before me.”  Instead they went to Aaron and asked him to create for them a god.  “WHAAAAAT?”  How quickly they forget!  

It becomes a theme throughout all of Scripture and humankind even to this day.  God moves, works, does miracles, answers prayers, and yet how quickly we forget.   When things aren’t going our way, we question if He is there.  When His answers aren’t coming fast enough to our prayers, we wonder if He hears us.  When we have a few rough days at work or look in the mirror too long we question if He still loves us, and I could go on and on.  

I would challenge you today, take a moment, and write down all that God has done for you.  Post it somewhere in your home as a reminder, like tying a string around your finger.  Remembering things, the ways that God has moved is something that is taught throughout the Bible.  In the Old Testament Joshua taught the people to set up monuments, David would write songs, while others would share them by word of mouth.  In the New Testament beyond those 3 things Jesus teaches us that in taking communion we are remembering His death, burial and resurrection leading to us having life.  Retrain your mind to remember and celebrate all that God has done for you and who He is in your life.  

“When your children ask you, ‘What are these stones to you?’ you’ll say, ‘The flow of the Jordan was stopped in front of the Chest of the Covenant of God as it crossed the Jordan—stopped in its tracks. These stones are a permanent memorial for the People of Israel.’”“

Joshua 4:6-7 MSG

“Remember this day.”  Exodus 13:3

”And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”“

Luke 22:19

“Helpless”

Posted on by Fireproof

It’s the big day!  Our second child, Silas Koa is about to be born!  The emotions, the excitement, the anticipation, the unknown, yeah I am dealing with all of it right now.  As I sit here and wait watching the screens, counting the contractions, monitoring the heart rate, and checking on Lindsey I am noticing just how helpless I am in this situation.  So here has been my solution, I’ve been pacing, watching tv, eating, and driving Lindsey nuts, only to realize I have absolutely no control.  I can’t rush the process.  I can’t take her pain.  I can’t change how this will affect our future or how Eli will respond to being a brother.  It is one of the strangest feelings because if any of you know me, I like to have a sense on control in my life.

The truth is though, the more I admit how helpless I am, the more it forces me to just turn to God and trust him to be greater than my helplessness.  I can’t take Lindsey’s pain, but I can pray for Lindsey’s health and comfort.  I can’t change our future, but I can trust God when he says not to worry.   So I just sit and wait, finding comfort in God being God.

2 Corintians 12:9-10, “three times I begged the Lord to take it away, each time he said, “My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness.”  So now I am glad to boast about my weakness so that the power of Christ can work though me… For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

It’s crazy to think that it has been two years since sitting in this same spot waiting for Eli to be born.  Crying out to God that night, and having to just place Lindsey’s body in His mighty hands.

IMG_4257
Our lil man Eli Micyah

What if I learned how to live everyday in this same sense of helplessness and need of God? What if we all learned what it meant to truly be at a spot to have to just cry out because we can’t do anything.  I would dare to say we would see God work more in ways that only He can.  The problem, I believe, is that we have become so self-sufficient that we have lost what it means to need God in our daily lives.  Due to that, and relying on ourselves we have missed the power of God working around us.

 

 

“CRY OUT TO ME.”

Posted on by Fireproof

                “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:15

As Eli has been growing, I have started to notice that he has different cries, different sounds he makes based on what he is feeling or going through.  For you parents out there, you know what I am talking about.  First there is the “I am hungry” cry, a louder, feisty type cry.  Then there is the “I am tired,”  “fighting sleep cry, where he is rubbing his eyes, yawning, barely keeping his eyes open but screaming at the top of his lungs because he doesn’t want to miss anything.  Then there is the “I am bored,” tired of being stuck in the carseat, get me outta here cry, which if ignored can turn into an all out ear piercing noise.  How about the “diaper needs changed” cry, not really a way to describe that one until you have experienced it firsthand.

In all these different cries it is Eli’s way of reaching out to tell us something is wrong.  As I listen to him cry, I catch myself going Eli, just talk to me, tell me what is up.  I don’t understand what these different noises mean.  Talk to me bud, Talk to me.  Then he starts to reach out to me, crawl over to my leg and grab on, pulling himself up my shin, just reaching up.  I just wish he could tell me what was actually taking place within his body, let me know what his pain was, or what was causing his discomfort  As he cries, All I can do is reach down, pick him up and hold him.  Guess what, most times that is exactly what he want.  He wants his daddy and mommy!

crying

What if that is exactly how we are designed to be when it comes to God.  What if we were meant to just cry out to him, to speak to him, to tell him what is taking place in our lives.  As Christians, many of us would probably say, yeah I get that, we are called to pray, but how many of us actually do it in our times of need.  What if when we are hurt, or in pain, or even just seeking purpose we would just reach up and cry out.

I believe it is exactly what God is asking of us, for us to tell him what is taking place, and allowing Him to reach down, to pick us up and just hold us.    We may feel like what we are going through is not that big of a deal so we don’t want to bother God with it.  Look back at that verse in Romans 8, God wants to be your “DADDY,” he wants you to talk to him about what is taking place in your life.  He wants you to turn to him, to run to him.  He isn’t just an image in the sky or some dictator pointing down at you saying. “I caught you again.”  He is your heavenly father saying, “just talk to me.”  Maybe our issue is that we think we need just the right words for God, to make him understand our situation, like if we say it just right, or add a couple thee’s and thou’s to our prayers.  I know I have been there before where I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling and I look up and just shake my fist saying, “God, are you hearing me?”  Okay, if that prayer didn’t work, lets try and reword it a little bit, then maybe He will hear it sooner.  If that is you, please consider this verse.

               “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26

It is not about the words we use though, like I said, He just desires us to cry out.  To hit our knees, to reach up, and allow Him to do what he does best.  As our heavenly Father, He reaches down, picks us up, and says, “I got this, Trust me my child.”

“He gave His son.”

Posted on by Fireproof

John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only son, that whoever would believe in Him would not perish, but have eternal life.”

A verse many of us know and probably memorized growing up.  Have you really ever thought of the depth of it though.  (Honestly, I hadn’t until Eli was born, and the depth continued to grow deeper with each of our kids.)  It was just another verse in Scripture that I would recite during a service or someone would speak on and I would go, “yeah I’ve heard this message before.”

This year though is different, as I think upon Easter and look back at pictures of Eli sleeping in my arms these few words make me want to break down.   Looking at his face, recognizing his innocence makes me realize how much I have taken God’s love for granted.  It feels like a major slap in the face from God as I try and process what this verse really means for you and me.  (I am going to ask you to let your emotions run a little bit now and maybe even shed some tears.  Let God stir your heart.)

A new translation of this verse keeps coming to my mind, “For God so loves the world, that he sacrificed His one and only.  For God so loves Josh, for God so loves Eli, for God so loves you.”

Could I personally give up Eli if it meant saving others?  If it meant saving the world?  I would like to think I would give up my own life for those I cherish, but I can’t imagine sacrificing my child.

In our country we have men and women who will sign up for our military knowing the sacrifice that may be required of them.  To give up our own lives many of us would say we would do it without a doubt.  “God, I will sign MY name on the dotted line, but to give up my kids, you don’t know what you’re asking.”  Can you imagine God asking of us to give up our child’s life to save our city, our church, others, strangers even.

I am truly struggling with this thought right now.  I know I care for others, I even love others, but I can’t fathom the depth of love it would take to offer any of my kids up for others.  To willingly watch them suffer, to see the pain in their face,  to see their blood shed.  I don’t think, actually if I’m going to be blunt, I know I couldn’t do it.

12374871_1098178626889792_5569784334676026566_oI can only imagine Eli crying out, “Daddy, this hurts.  Daddy, Help.  Daddy, if there is any other way, please.”  Yet, God in his infinite love for you and me, allowed Jesus, His son, to go through this agony.

Now my mind is racing thinking upon this thought of God’s love, the wheels are spinning in my mind, the smoke is pouring out from my brain as I consider this.   My thoughts now turn from God’s love to how much Jesus himself loves you and me.  The love he must have had, that He would willingly lay down his own life, out of submission to His Father’s plan.

John 15:13, “Greater Love has no one than this, to lay down his life for his friends.”

That he would be the perfect example of the verse he shared with his disciples. The reality hits that Jesus didn’t just talk about this type of love that he had for others.  He didn’t just offer up some kind words and say,  “do as I say, not as I do.”  He actually lived it.  When he talked about laying down His life, it didn’t just sound good, he actually did it.  When he talked about forgiveness, he followed through, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”

Jesus lived out what he taught.  He is the ultimate example.

I want to be the same way for my kids, I want to live out what I say.  I want to be an example of love.  I want to be an example of forgiveness.

This Easter take time and consider God’s love, Christ’s example, and what it means to you.  I know I personally will never celebrate Easter the same way again.

In closing there is a worship song out that we all have probably sung, “Oh how he loves us.”  Take a moment, think upon those words from the perspective of a DAD.

Fearfully and Wonderfully made

Posted on by Fireproof

November 30, 2015

It had been a normal day for us, at least as normal as it could be when your wife is days away from giving birth.  We were now at the point of weekly doctor visits and ultrasounds.  We were dealing with the sleepless nights as well as Lindsey getting to the point of “just get this kid out of me already.”  That afternoon we went and had her appointment, they did some bloodwork and told us everything looked good, and that the following Monday they would induce her for the baby to be born.  So we went home and started our day.  We decided it was probably a good idea to go ahead and decorate for Christmas because once Eli was born we figured nothing would get done.  So that afternoon we went out and bought a Christmas tree, came home, got some dinner, and got to work.  Feeling a little exhausted, at around 10 or so we decided it was time to call it a night.  The tree was up, the lights and ornaments were hung, so if nothing else, at least  that was done.

As we went to go to bed we grabbed our phones and both noticed we had voicemails from an unknown number.  Linds decided to check hers first, and as she did the tears started to flow.  I had no clue why, but she went on to tell me it was a message from her doctor saying to get to the emergency room as soon as possible.   WHAT???? We were just at your office this afternoon and you told us everything was good.  On the way to the E.R. we were able to get a hold of the doctor who told us for some reason that night she couldn’t sleep, so she got up and chose to go over test results once again.  As she went over Lindsey’s numbers one more time, she noticed that according to the data, Linds was going into preclampsia and that her liver was shutting down.  Not quite the news we expected.  Now I don’t usually freak out, but that night, I may have a little bit, especially as we get to the hospital and they are waiting for us and begin telling us all the medications they were going to put her on as well as test to be run.  All I remember is them saying, “This one is for seizures, this one is for blood pressure, this one is for this, this one is for that.”  Seizures, High blood pressure,  and the list went on…. Yeah I got a little scared.

So I did all that I know to do, I began to pray.  During that night the Lord continued leading me to Psalms 139 and I just kept reciting it over and over.  Through it I learned just how true the words are that this child, that we had prayed for, was truly in God’s hands.  He knew all the emotions I was going through and none of this was catching him off guard.  I didn’t know all the answers or how everything was going to turn out, but I knew God kept saying “He is my child, even before you knew of his existence, I had already been planning his life.  Every aspect, every detail… is in my hands.”

YOU HAVE SEARCHED ME, LORD,
AND YOU KNOW ME.
2 YOU KNOW WHEN I SIT AND WHEN I RISE;
YOU PERCEIVE MY THOUGHTS FROM AFAR.

3 YOU DISCERN MY GOING OUT AND MY LYING DOWN;
YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH ALL MY WAYS.

4 BEFORE A WORD IS ON MY TONGUE
YOU, LORD, KNOW IT COMPLETELY.

13 FOR YOU CREATED MY INMOST BEING;
YOU KNIT ME TOGETHER IN MY MOTHER’S WOMB.

14 I PRAISE YOU BECAUSE I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE;
YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL,
I KNOW THAT FULL WELL.

15 MY FRAME WAS NOT HIDDEN FROM YOU
WHEN I WAS MADE IN THE SECRET PLACE,
WHEN I WAS WOVEN TOGETHER IN THE DEPTHS OF THE EARTH.

16 YOUR EYES SAW MY UNFORMED BODY;
ALL THE DAYS ORDAINED FOR ME WERE WRITTEN IN YOUR BOOK
BEFORE ONE OF THEM CAME TO BE.

All I could do was pray and trust.  As the hours past, her blood pressure would rise, machines would beep, heartrate would go up and all i could do was sit there helpless, watching and waiting.  Then the guy with the epidoral came in and he just wanted to talk, and on and on he went.  All I kept thinking was, “dude, help my wife.”

IMG_4257Labor went on for a little over 13 hours and then our little miracle, Eli Miycah was born.  Healthy as could be, but man did I have a scare put into me over the whole thing.  Not only a scare but a whole new perspective over the passages that David wrote so many years ago about each child being fearfully and wonderfully made.

Every aspect, every detail is in the hands of a mighty God.   What an awesome and mighty God we serve.  And the reality that truly hit home that night is that even if something happened that night, that God is still in control.  Not a moment went by that he was unaware of.