Tag: faith

“You Stink!”

Posted on by Fireproof

“When was the last time you changed your socks?” Should be a pretty straightforward question right. Apparently not to a 6 and 8 year old. Of all the battles we have in our home, and with 4 kids there are quite a few, changing socks has to rank near the top. You know we get the standard arguments over not wanting to go to bed, who has control of the remote, even what they want to eat. I get that, not everyone wants to eat peas, and would rather have pizza everyday. Am I right? Come on now though, a meltdown over changing socks. So we press the question a bit. Here is a glimpse of the conversation.

“When was the last time you changed them?” The hesitation begins and then, “Maybe 2-3 days ago, followed by the I think.”
“But you bathed since then.”
“Yeah what’s your point dad.” Eli replies glaring back at me.
“And you put the same socks back on?” Lindsey chimes in shaking her head.
This is now followed by the confused, “I’m sorry, but why do we have to change our socks everyday?”

I am now fighting back many sarcastic remarks going through my mind and all I can do is start to laugh as I bluntly say to them, “because you stink.”

Now I would love to get on their case a little bit more about this. The truth is though as adults we can stink at times too. There will be days Linds will come home from work, walk in the door, and as I go to give her a kiss, she stops me and says “something stinks.” We start searching the house, is it the dogs, is it wet shoes what is it? After a few moments of searching, we circle back and realize the smell is coming from me. “Did you shower today?” Now I am beyond the point in life where I get embarrassed to easily so i just start laughing and go, “I ran out of time this morning, but I did use body spray, doesn’t that count?”

You may be wondering how this all ties into anything spiritual but I promise you it does. God has actually been working on my heart all week about it, so it is one of those messages that speaks to me as much as it may to you. It all started a few weeks back when my dad spoke a message entitled “Stinking thinking.” For some reason, God will not let that out of my mind and expanded it from stinkin thinkin to stinkin livin.

In John 8, Jesus forgives the adulterous woman. At the end of the story he says to her, “neither do I condemn you, now go and sin no more.” Many of us have memorized that story, we love that story, pointing out that their is forgiveness in Jesus. The downfall is that we skip the point where he tells us to repent, to change, to go and sin no more. Can you imagine with me the woman looking at Him and saying, “Thank you for forgiving me, but why do I have to change?” Not quite the story we read, yet somehow it is how many of us live. God calls us to change, to leave our life of sin, but instead we try to push the limit of what we can get away with. “Jesus, it is all I know, Jesus it is what everyone else is doing, Jesus, I’m not as bad as the next guy, why do I need to change?” I can picture Him then writing in the sand some more, “Because your sin stinks, I want to give you a pure heart, a clean heart, a changed life.”

Maybe a better analogy for you is the one of the body spray. Where we know we’ve been changed but we allow certain areas to just linger in our lives. We know it is still there but when it comes to others we try to hide it. We think if no one else knows, does it really count, does it really still stink? As long as no one knows I talked about them behind their back, cheated the system, or looked at certain things. I can just cover it up with some body spray to make myself smell better on the outside right. Jesus addresses that very bluntly also.

Matthew 23:27-28 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

Talk about a stench. So how are we supposed to live then?

Ephesians 4: 22-23  “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Are you seeking God daily and allowing Him to convict you of areas that an odor to them? This is a lifelong process becoming like Him. It isn’t a snap of the fingers, wake up one day and everything is perfect. It is a daily surrender, allowing God to work in your life changing you from the inside out.

“JESUS, I BELIEVE IN YOU.”

Posted on by Fireproof

As I have shared previously, our family hot tub has turned into my prayer closet. Those moments of sitting out there at night once the kids have gone to sleep, have become invaluable. Even if it is just a couple minutes of silence from our world of chaos and noise. Recently that has changed a little bit though. With the temperatures changing and it getting colder out, all our kids have taken to it as their swimming pool. Now it seems a few nights a week, one of the girls will say as clear as can be, “hot tub, hot tub.” So who can turn down that family time right?

At first I was honestly frustrated, arguing with God, “but that is my time.” (Talk about being selfish). Honestly it turns into a comedy hour. Seriously, I encourage you now to picture yourself in this scene. All of us jammed into a 4 person inflatable hot tub, with not much room to spare. Eli trying to swim laps under everyone else’s legs, Silas acting like he is falling off the side to see how big of splash he can make. The twins learning to get their head under the water or to hold on the side while kicking their feet. Let’s just say a lot of laughter and joy takes places in these precious few moments.

Anyway, I share all that because last week I was explaining to them about it being my prayer closet; my moments to just sit and talk to Jesus. Silas then asked me if he could talk to Jesus like that. “Absolutely bud. What would you want to say to him?” His answer truly caught me off guard. “Dad, I think I would just say, Jesus I believe in you.” I really didn’t know how to respond. “Is that all you’d say or ask?” His eyes started looking around and you could tell his mind was searching, then simply, “yep, that’s all I’d say, I believe in you.”

So simple, yet so profound. What if our faith as adults was just that simple. Instead of overthinking or trying to explain everything. Instead of thinking we need magic words or long drawn out prayers. Just a simple, “Jesus, I believe in you.”

Moments like that make me truly grateful for little kids and their simple minds. I am learning to embrace the everyday conversations where God continues to teach me through my kids. Faith through the eyes of a child. Maybe that is what God will teach me more of in 2024, to have faith like a child, what about you?

“Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Matthew 18:3-4 NLT

“Jesus was fully human”

Posted on by Fireproof

So the other morning, right after Lindsey left for work as I was getting the boys ready, God revealed himself to me in a completely new way.  To be honest it was in a way that I have never thought of before.  While Silas was walking across the floor, I caught Eli running up right behind him, bear hugging him and then falling down backwards taking Silas with him.  And so it began.  Silas burst out laughing and I mean like all out hyaena laughs, as deep as belly laughs as I have ever heard a baby have.  Now you might be thinking at this point as a good dad I should intervene but honestly all I could do was stand there laughing myself.  Then Silas would get back up, and Eli would pull him back down.  This time though Silas landed right on top of him, rolled over and seemed to pin him.  Here was our 1 year old fighting back.  I really wanted to get down and pul the old www, !., 2, 3, Ding, Ding, Ding.  I think we might have 2 wrestlers on our hands.  But then it turned and the fun was over Eli got Silas pinned down and the laughing started to turn to a whimper.

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You know me though, as my day went on I started thinking about the reality that Jesus himself had a brother, James.  In my mind I started thinking about Joseph standing over Jesus and James as they went at it as kids.  Can you imagine Mary looking at Joseoph and saying to him, “I thought we were raising the Son of God?”  And Joseph replying by saying, “He is, remember what the angel said, but that doesnt’t mean he’s not still a kid.” I can only imagine the fights between the boys, the disagreements that took place, the tears that were shed, and the discipline that had to be dished out.    How about the time when Jesus wandered off from his parents and He stayed at the temple while Mary and Joseph searched for him.  Think there might have been some belts being cracked that day?

Luke 2: 43 After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it.

Maybe you haven’t thought to much about this before, but please if you get anything from this, remember that Jesus truly was fully human.  He left the comforts of heaven, humbled himself, took on the form of a man, was born in a manger and lived and breathed just like you and me.  So next time you think to yourself and shake your fist to the sky saying, “God you don’t know what I am going through,” remember that he does.  When you say, “You dont know what it’s like to be betrayed,” He is saying, “I had everyone turn there back on me.”  When you are saying, “You don’t know how hard it is to forgive that person, He is saying, “How hard do you think it was for me to forgive the soldiers who nailed me to the cross.  When you are thinking, “You don’t know the temptation I am going through, he reminds you of his time in the desert being tempered directly by Satan himself.  You seeing my point yet?

Phillipians 2:6-7 Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form.

What a way to start my day.  Thank you Jesus for the simple reminder that you were fully hunan, yet fully God at the same time.  Thank You God for my two boys who give me that simple reminder.

I saw Santa!

Posted on by Fireproof

As I got home Wednesday night from a meeting Eli came running up to me, “Daddy, I saw Santa, he was riding on a fire truck.”  There was such excitement in his voice as he told me all about it.  Honestly I’m noit sure if he was more excited about Santa ore about the firetruck.  Either way it was incredible seeing his joy and excitement.

2 hours before that, Lindsey had called me and told me to keep a lookout for the jolly big man.  She was just leaving work, and I was at home already making dinner with the boys, so she wanted to make sure we didnt miss it.  So we started watching out the front window.  Pulling up the blinds in anticipation seeing if every truck that went by was Santa.  Talk about a bunch of false alarms.  I think we saw more big rigs go by our house that hour than we normally do in a full week.  We even saw three fire trucks go by on their way to a call.  Explain that to a 3 year old.  So after an hour or so of watching, Linds was now home and I had to leaver disappointed that I would miss seeing the boy’s faces when Santa came by.

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We have learned you can’t keep ornaments within reach.

While driving to my meeting it got me thinking.  What if we had the same anticipation of Jesus coming back that kids do for Santa coming.  What if we lived in such a way as if He was coming back tomorrow?  The joy, the excitement, knowing that our Savior was returning.  Because the truth is Scripture tells us time and again that Jesus is returning.  The only difference is for a kid they know Santa is coming December 25th each year and we teach them to “be good” because Santa is watching.  What if we took this same mindset of God is watching and He is calling us to live holy lives know that Jesus is going to return.  In church many times we can talk about the idea of Jesus returning as just an afterthought, like oh yeah it will happen one day.  But what if Jesus returned tomorrow?  Have we lived with urgency to tell others of His ultimate return?   I remember a few years back there was a song, “I wish we’d all been ready”  and it talked about this very idea.  Being prepared because his return is a guarantee.  A PROMISE!

“Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left. “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.” (Matthew 24:40-44)

We teach our kids to be ready for Santa.  What if we started living and teaching the same thing about Jesus return.  To be ready and to share with others as if Jesus were coming back tomorrow.  That next morning I was totally convicted as I read this.

“Peter saw his opportunity and addressed the crowd.”
‭‭(Acts‬ ‭3:12‬ )

This is a verse I have read time and time again, but this time it hit me.  We need to seize the opportunities God gives us to share, to love, to serve, and to live as if Jesus is coming back at any moment.  That thought shouldn’t scare you, but should excite and motivate you, like a child waiting for Santa.  Just some thoughts coming from a convicted heart who wants to make the most of every opportunity living this adventure we call life.

 

 

“Helpless”

Posted on by Fireproof

It’s the big day!  Our second child, Silas Koa is about to be born!  The emotions, the excitement, the anticipation, the unknown, yeah I am dealing with all of it right now.  As I sit here and wait watching the screens, counting the contractions, monitoring the heart rate, and checking on Lindsey I am noticing just how helpless I am in this situation.  So here has been my solution, I’ve been pacing, watching tv, eating, and driving Lindsey nuts, only to realize I have absolutely no control.  I can’t rush the process.  I can’t take her pain.  I can’t change how this will affect our future or how Eli will respond to being a brother.  It is one of the strangest feelings because if any of you know me, I like to have a sense on control in my life.

The truth is though, the more I admit how helpless I am, the more it forces me to just turn to God and trust him to be greater than my helplessness.  I can’t take Lindsey’s pain, but I can pray for Lindsey’s health and comfort.  I can’t change our future, but I can trust God when he says not to worry.   So I just sit and wait, finding comfort in God being God.

2 Corintians 12:9-10, “three times I begged the Lord to take it away, each time he said, “My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness.”  So now I am glad to boast about my weakness so that the power of Christ can work though me… For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

It’s crazy to think that it has been two years since sitting in this same spot waiting for Eli to be born.  Crying out to God that night, and having to just place Lindsey’s body in His mighty hands.

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Our lil man Eli Micyah

What if I learned how to live everyday in this same sense of helplessness and need of God? What if we all learned what it meant to truly be at a spot to have to just cry out because we can’t do anything.  I would dare to say we would see God work more in ways that only He can.  The problem, I believe, is that we have become so self-sufficient that we have lost what it means to need God in our daily lives.  Due to that, and relying on ourselves we have missed the power of God working around us.

 

 

Imitation

Posted on by Fireproof

Follow Me as I follow Christ.  1 Corinthians 11:1

Imitate:  Take or follow as a model.

You want to know some of the habits and traits that you have?  You want to know how other people see the things you are doing?  Then have a child.  You truly never understand some of the quirks that you have until you see your son start to act the same way and do the same things.  In some ways this is awesome, but then other times you want to scream and say to them, “Where did you learn that?  Did Mommy teach you that?”

The more you watch these habits though, the more you realize you are the one who is guilty of these actions your son is now imitating.  In the same sense though it can be an unbelievable thing when you see your son picking up on things you do that make you as a dad super proud.

Linds and I have always been ones to stop and pray before we eat.  We gather around the island in the kitchen with Eli up in his highchair.   So here we are grabbing hands, closing our eyes, and thanking God for the food before us.  After a few weeks of this we begin to notice Eli starting to do the same thing.  He is about 8 months old, grabbing our hands and closing his eyes.  Now at this age, he is at the point where he will get up in his highchair, look at us and say, “PWAY” as he closes his eyes and folds his hands.  We didn’t teach him that, he caught it from us.

Another example is with Linds cleaning up the house.  Eli loves being like mommy, go into the closet and get the Swiffer out himself as Linds gets the vacuum out.  He sees her cleaning and he wants to help, to the point he has his own cleaning tools.

Sometimes, this can be incredible to watch and makes you extremely proud. Other times, it can drive you nuts to be completely honest.  Last week, I was trying to paint in the hall.  So here I am, on the stepladder, trying to reach the high spots.  As I’m up there, I start hear a dripping behind me.  My first thought was we must have a water leak so I start searching for it.  Nothing, thank goodness.  Then I look down and see Eli smiling away, a second paintbrush in his hand with brown paint up to the handle.  He is shaking it up and down making a painting motion as paint flung all over the hallway, down the front of him, through his hair and all over the floor.  I wanted to get mad but all I could do was laugh, because he just imitating his daddy.  So I called for Linds and she came in helping me get him cleaned up.  We learned the valuable lesson to keep things such as paintbrushes high and out of his reach.

One of the craziest ways I have seen Eli imitate Lindsey and I is in our words.  We have a 100 lb lab/st. bernard mix puppy (or bear to many) and he has to be one of the neediest dogs ever.  I swear it is nonstop whining and crying, wanting in and out.  There are times when Eli will be crying, Bomber wants out and all you can do is mumble something at him telling him in a subtle way to go sit down and hush up.  The next thing you know Eli is saying the same exact thing, “hush, hush.”  He hears our words and then starts repeating them, like we have our own little parrot in the room.  What words are we teaching him?

It has truly been a lesson for me though in being an example for him in my faith.  If I want to see him become a man of prayer, I have to be that example of a man who prays myself.  If I want to see him learn to read Scripture, I better be reading it myself.  If I want to see Eli learn to be a man who cares for others, who gives, who leads, and the list goes on, I better be ready to allow him to see my example.  Like the old saying goes, “more is caught than taught.”

I can only imagine Eli saying to me one day, “Well dad, I don’t see you doing those things.” How convicting would that be for you?  I know my heart would break.  I want to be that example for my child. How about you?

Now when we are at the church, during worship, I will holding Eli in my arms and he will raise his hands over his head.  What a moment for a dad, he may not be able to sing yet or know the words, but he has seen his daddy and mommy in worship raising their hands.

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I believe that is exactly what Paul is talking about here is this passage, saying to the Corinthians, look at my example.  Follow me as I follow.  I can only imagine the Corinthian people looking at him and saying, “but Paul we don’t see that example in you.”  He had to live what he taught himself.

We live in a culture now though where we use the excuse or the line, “do as I say, not as I do.”  It doesn’t work that way with kids.  They learn what they see.  They do as you do.  Good and bad.

One final thought though, is for someone to imitate you they have to spend time with you.  For you to imitate Christ, you have to spend time with Him.  You want your kids to learn to spend time with Christ, you have to learn what that means yourself and set that example.  Imitation comes from being around someone, watching them, and doing as they do.

I can only wait and see the things that Eli picks up on from Linds and I’s example.  I hope and pray most of what he does will be good traits but I know along the way we will fail at times, so please take a moment and pray for us as we try and be an example for him and for others.  While you’re at it, pray for the example you ‘re being.

“CRY OUT TO ME.”

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                “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:15

As Eli has been growing, I have started to notice that he has different cries, different sounds he makes based on what he is feeling or going through.  For you parents out there, you know what I am talking about.  First there is the “I am hungry” cry, a louder, feisty type cry.  Then there is the “I am tired,”  “fighting sleep cry, where he is rubbing his eyes, yawning, barely keeping his eyes open but screaming at the top of his lungs because he doesn’t want to miss anything.  Then there is the “I am bored,” tired of being stuck in the carseat, get me outta here cry, which if ignored can turn into an all out ear piercing noise.  How about the “diaper needs changed” cry, not really a way to describe that one until you have experienced it firsthand.

In all these different cries it is Eli’s way of reaching out to tell us something is wrong.  As I listen to him cry, I catch myself going Eli, just talk to me, tell me what is up.  I don’t understand what these different noises mean.  Talk to me bud, Talk to me.  Then he starts to reach out to me, crawl over to my leg and grab on, pulling himself up my shin, just reaching up.  I just wish he could tell me what was actually taking place within his body, let me know what his pain was, or what was causing his discomfort  As he cries, All I can do is reach down, pick him up and hold him.  Guess what, most times that is exactly what he want.  He wants his daddy and mommy!

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What if that is exactly how we are designed to be when it comes to God.  What if we were meant to just cry out to him, to speak to him, to tell him what is taking place in our lives.  As Christians, many of us would probably say, yeah I get that, we are called to pray, but how many of us actually do it in our times of need.  What if when we are hurt, or in pain, or even just seeking purpose we would just reach up and cry out.

I believe it is exactly what God is asking of us, for us to tell him what is taking place, and allowing Him to reach down, to pick us up and just hold us.    We may feel like what we are going through is not that big of a deal so we don’t want to bother God with it.  Look back at that verse in Romans 8, God wants to be your “DADDY,” he wants you to talk to him about what is taking place in your life.  He wants you to turn to him, to run to him.  He isn’t just an image in the sky or some dictator pointing down at you saying. “I caught you again.”  He is your heavenly father saying, “just talk to me.”  Maybe our issue is that we think we need just the right words for God, to make him understand our situation, like if we say it just right, or add a couple thee’s and thou’s to our prayers.  I know I have been there before where I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling and I look up and just shake my fist saying, “God, are you hearing me?”  Okay, if that prayer didn’t work, lets try and reword it a little bit, then maybe He will hear it sooner.  If that is you, please consider this verse.

               “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26

It is not about the words we use though, like I said, He just desires us to cry out.  To hit our knees, to reach up, and allow Him to do what he does best.  As our heavenly Father, He reaches down, picks us up, and says, “I got this, Trust me my child.”

“He gave His son.”

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John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only son, that whoever would believe in Him would not perish, but have eternal life.”

A verse many of us know and probably memorized growing up.  Have you really ever thought of the depth of it though.  (Honestly, I hadn’t until Eli was born, and the depth continued to grow deeper with each of our kids.)  It was just another verse in Scripture that I would recite during a service or someone would speak on and I would go, “yeah I’ve heard this message before.”

This year though is different, as I think upon Easter and look back at pictures of Eli sleeping in my arms these few words make me want to break down.   Looking at his face, recognizing his innocence makes me realize how much I have taken God’s love for granted.  It feels like a major slap in the face from God as I try and process what this verse really means for you and me.  (I am going to ask you to let your emotions run a little bit now and maybe even shed some tears.  Let God stir your heart.)

A new translation of this verse keeps coming to my mind, “For God so loves the world, that he sacrificed His one and only.  For God so loves Josh, for God so loves Eli, for God so loves you.”

Could I personally give up Eli if it meant saving others?  If it meant saving the world?  I would like to think I would give up my own life for those I cherish, but I can’t imagine sacrificing my child.

In our country we have men and women who will sign up for our military knowing the sacrifice that may be required of them.  To give up our own lives many of us would say we would do it without a doubt.  “God, I will sign MY name on the dotted line, but to give up my kids, you don’t know what you’re asking.”  Can you imagine God asking of us to give up our child’s life to save our city, our church, others, strangers even.

I am truly struggling with this thought right now.  I know I care for others, I even love others, but I can’t fathom the depth of love it would take to offer any of my kids up for others.  To willingly watch them suffer, to see the pain in their face,  to see their blood shed.  I don’t think, actually if I’m going to be blunt, I know I couldn’t do it.

12374871_1098178626889792_5569784334676026566_oI can only imagine Eli crying out, “Daddy, this hurts.  Daddy, Help.  Daddy, if there is any other way, please.”  Yet, God in his infinite love for you and me, allowed Jesus, His son, to go through this agony.

Now my mind is racing thinking upon this thought of God’s love, the wheels are spinning in my mind, the smoke is pouring out from my brain as I consider this.   My thoughts now turn from God’s love to how much Jesus himself loves you and me.  The love he must have had, that He would willingly lay down his own life, out of submission to His Father’s plan.

John 15:13, “Greater Love has no one than this, to lay down his life for his friends.”

That he would be the perfect example of the verse he shared with his disciples. The reality hits that Jesus didn’t just talk about this type of love that he had for others.  He didn’t just offer up some kind words and say,  “do as I say, not as I do.”  He actually lived it.  When he talked about laying down His life, it didn’t just sound good, he actually did it.  When he talked about forgiveness, he followed through, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”

Jesus lived out what he taught.  He is the ultimate example.

I want to be the same way for my kids, I want to live out what I say.  I want to be an example of love.  I want to be an example of forgiveness.

This Easter take time and consider God’s love, Christ’s example, and what it means to you.  I know I personally will never celebrate Easter the same way again.

In closing there is a worship song out that we all have probably sung, “Oh how he loves us.”  Take a moment, think upon those words from the perspective of a DAD.

Fearfully and Wonderfully made

Posted on by Fireproof

November 30, 2015

It had been a normal day for us, at least as normal as it could be when your wife is days away from giving birth.  We were now at the point of weekly doctor visits and ultrasounds.  We were dealing with the sleepless nights as well as Lindsey getting to the point of “just get this kid out of me already.”  That afternoon we went and had her appointment, they did some bloodwork and told us everything looked good, and that the following Monday they would induce her for the baby to be born.  So we went home and started our day.  We decided it was probably a good idea to go ahead and decorate for Christmas because once Eli was born we figured nothing would get done.  So that afternoon we went out and bought a Christmas tree, came home, got some dinner, and got to work.  Feeling a little exhausted, at around 10 or so we decided it was time to call it a night.  The tree was up, the lights and ornaments were hung, so if nothing else, at least  that was done.

As we went to go to bed we grabbed our phones and both noticed we had voicemails from an unknown number.  Linds decided to check hers first, and as she did the tears started to flow.  I had no clue why, but she went on to tell me it was a message from her doctor saying to get to the emergency room as soon as possible.   WHAT???? We were just at your office this afternoon and you told us everything was good.  On the way to the E.R. we were able to get a hold of the doctor who told us for some reason that night she couldn’t sleep, so she got up and chose to go over test results once again.  As she went over Lindsey’s numbers one more time, she noticed that according to the data, Linds was going into preclampsia and that her liver was shutting down.  Not quite the news we expected.  Now I don’t usually freak out, but that night, I may have a little bit, especially as we get to the hospital and they are waiting for us and begin telling us all the medications they were going to put her on as well as test to be run.  All I remember is them saying, “This one is for seizures, this one is for blood pressure, this one is for this, this one is for that.”  Seizures, High blood pressure,  and the list went on…. Yeah I got a little scared.

So I did all that I know to do, I began to pray.  During that night the Lord continued leading me to Psalms 139 and I just kept reciting it over and over.  Through it I learned just how true the words are that this child, that we had prayed for, was truly in God’s hands.  He knew all the emotions I was going through and none of this was catching him off guard.  I didn’t know all the answers or how everything was going to turn out, but I knew God kept saying “He is my child, even before you knew of his existence, I had already been planning his life.  Every aspect, every detail… is in my hands.”

YOU HAVE SEARCHED ME, LORD,
AND YOU KNOW ME.
2 YOU KNOW WHEN I SIT AND WHEN I RISE;
YOU PERCEIVE MY THOUGHTS FROM AFAR.

3 YOU DISCERN MY GOING OUT AND MY LYING DOWN;
YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH ALL MY WAYS.

4 BEFORE A WORD IS ON MY TONGUE
YOU, LORD, KNOW IT COMPLETELY.

13 FOR YOU CREATED MY INMOST BEING;
YOU KNIT ME TOGETHER IN MY MOTHER’S WOMB.

14 I PRAISE YOU BECAUSE I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE;
YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL,
I KNOW THAT FULL WELL.

15 MY FRAME WAS NOT HIDDEN FROM YOU
WHEN I WAS MADE IN THE SECRET PLACE,
WHEN I WAS WOVEN TOGETHER IN THE DEPTHS OF THE EARTH.

16 YOUR EYES SAW MY UNFORMED BODY;
ALL THE DAYS ORDAINED FOR ME WERE WRITTEN IN YOUR BOOK
BEFORE ONE OF THEM CAME TO BE.

All I could do was pray and trust.  As the hours past, her blood pressure would rise, machines would beep, heartrate would go up and all i could do was sit there helpless, watching and waiting.  Then the guy with the epidoral came in and he just wanted to talk, and on and on he went.  All I kept thinking was, “dude, help my wife.”

IMG_4257Labor went on for a little over 13 hours and then our little miracle, Eli Miycah was born.  Healthy as could be, but man did I have a scare put into me over the whole thing.  Not only a scare but a whole new perspective over the passages that David wrote so many years ago about each child being fearfully and wonderfully made.

Every aspect, every detail is in the hands of a mighty God.   What an awesome and mighty God we serve.  And the reality that truly hit home that night is that even if something happened that night, that God is still in control.  Not a moment went by that he was unaware of.